He may be a bright, shining star now, but Boston Red Sox outfielder Jarren Duran has revealed some very dark days from his past.
During an interview for the Netflix docuseries The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox, Duran details his battle with depression and how he nearly took his own life a few years ago.
According to reporters who received advance copies of the series – which is set to be released on the streamer on Tuesday – Duran speaks about the rough start to his major league career and how negative fan reaction to his performance deeply affected him mentally.
WARNING: Explicit details about self-harm
“I was already hearing it from fans,” Duran says during an interview, according to MLB.com. “And what they said to me, (it was like), ‘I’ve told myself 10 times worse in the mirror.’ That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”
The director then asks the 29-year-old to clarify what “here” meant — as in with the Red Sox or on Earth — Duran said, “probably both. Yeah. Probably both.
“I got to a point where I was sitting in my room, I had my rifle and I had a bullet and I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened. So, to this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off.
“I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason,’ so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off. I was like, ‘Do I want to be here or do I not want to be here?’
“That happened for a reason and obviously, you’re here for a reason so let’s be the way you want to be and play (the way) you want to play and live the way you want to live.”
Boston Red Sox team president Sam Kennedy issued a statement about Duran coming forward with his emotional story, calling it an “an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball.”
“By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential,” Kennedy said.
“Every member of this organization continues to stand with him. He has our deepest admiration, he’s always had our full support and we’re incredibly fortunate to have him as part of our team.”
Duran, who was seen as one of Boston’s top prospects, struggled early in his major-league career. During his first two seasons, 2021 and 2022, Duran hit just .219 in 91 games, with five home runs.
He began to turn things around in 2023, when he hit .295 and drove in 40 runs in 102 games before his big breakout in 2024. Last season, he posted a WAR of 8.7 — fifth-best in MLB — while leading the majors in at-bats, plate appearances, doubles and triples, while hitting .85 and making the AL all-star team.